Nathan, hypocrite!

The hypocrite in its unnatural habitat.

Nothing pisses me off more than hypocrites. Take Nathan Myhrvold, formerly of that company in Redmond. Sits around and defends patent trolling.

Because, you know, aside from being a multi millionnaire and having written a six-volume tome on cooking, Myhrvold also runs a successful patent troll business. That is buy or represent patents and then sue everyone you know for money because they do something mildly similar.

And that’s why Myhrvold isn’t just a fucking hypocrite, he’s a fucking asshole hypocrite. You see, that six-volume book he wrote? About cooking? Which he sells for close to five big ones ($495 last time I checked)? Well, it’s full of stuff … other people have invented. Yes, right, he spent a few hours in a kitchen taking pictures and playing around, but nothing (let me repeat this: nothing) in this book is original to him. Sure, he adds a few spices or changes a tool, which is kind of like making a slider round or square on a cell phone lock screen or having icons with shadows and without on an OS desktop. But he’s standing, firmly, within the beaten path of hundreds, if not thousands, of inventive cooks and chefs before him. Heck, he even went so far and begged for help on forums.

Why does this piss me off? Because this dumb fucking asshole hypocrite (I’ll keep repeating this, let’s hope it makes its way into Google) Nathan Myhrvold thinks it’s perfectly OK to make better wheels even if someone else invented them in the first place. Which I agree with. And then he goes home and spends some more hours suing and threatening anyone else who makes wheels.

There are no patents in cooking. Very little we do is secret. We talk about it, we share it, we improve and reshare. And dumb little asshole hypocrites like Nathan Myhrvold get to benefit from that in the end. Next time you open your dumb mouth about patents and how healthy innovation control is, Mr. Myhrvold, think about your latest endeavor and the giants whose shoulders you stood on, without having to pay them a dime, to sell your half-grand book.